


What Humans Don’t Know

by HelpCrowleysPlants



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale and Crowley Live Together (Good Omens), Beelzebub and Gabriel live together, Eventual mpreg, F/F, F/M, God Ships Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), I have no idea what I’m doing, Ineffable Wedding, Kidnapping, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Mpreg, Obgyn, Other, PLEASE READ TAGS, Please Be careful, Tags may be added, Torture, You Have Been Warned, doctors appointment, eventual kidnapping, im too invested to stop, not just spies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2021-04-16
Packaged: 2021-04-25 09:01:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 14,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22286398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelpCrowleysPlants/pseuds/HelpCrowleysPlants
Summary: After the not-pocolips, Aziraphale and Crowley settle down and get married. Life is good until they start getting sick. Then, Crowley meets some humans that are too curious...
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Crowley/Aziraphale
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	1. Married life

**Author's Note:**

> I changed the title from “They Thought they were safe, Hell won’t Forget” to “What Humans Don’t Know” because I wanted to make huge plot change. I accept constructive criticism. Please let me know if I make a mistake or typo. I’m just a dumb American, so a lot of things are googled. If you are looking for intimate details, this is not the fic for you. I am not comfortable writing that sort of stuff. Crowley and Aziraphale will be presenting female for most of this. Crowley more.

A few months after the Notpocolips

It was the day of their wedding and both Crowley and Aziraphale were nervous. Crowley was in the dressing room and with only 20 minutes until she had to walk down the aisle, she was more nervous than she’d like to admit.

“You look beautiful!” Anathema whispered in a desperate attempt to calm the bride down. Being bridesmaid to a 6,000 year old demon was as hard as stopping the apocalypse. Crowley was dressed in a gorgeous [(1)](https://www.casablancabridal.com/collections/gowns/style-2415-macy/)long black off the shoulders three quarters sleeves. The dress was peppered with brightly colored stars and constellations. [(2)](https://m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/uggaustralia-bentlie-constellation-flat-women/4030072/lite?origin=keywordsearch)She was wearing matching navy blue flats that would be easier to hope around in since she had insisted on getting married in a church. “You have nothing to worry about!” Anathema continued. “You’ve been together for 6,000 years. Do you really think that Aziraphale will leave you now?” Crowley sighed and smiled weakly. She did have a point.

In the other room, Aziraphale was wearing a white and tan three piece suit. The couple had decided to switch the traditional colors. While Aziraphale made some last minute adjustments, Newton was trying, and failing, to help him. Newt knew he had to say something, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. He was saved by his girlfriend before he had a chance to even try. 

“Anathema? What are you doing here?” Newt asked the witch.

“Shouldn’t you be with Crowley?” Aziraphale asked.

“She wanted some alone time. Plus as sweet as he is, I know Newt isn’t good with speeches.” The best  
man blushed but smiled thankfully. “Now, Newt, OUT!” Newt hurried out of the small dressing room. “I’m glad you picked Newt instead of Shadwell. I can’t even imagine how I would get him out.” The young witch took a deep breath. “Now, Aziraphale, when you and Crowley hit me with his car, I thought I was either going to get kidnapped, or you were just a really weird gay couple. Now I know for a fact that you two are. But you also are perfect for each other. I’m proud to have saved the world with you two.” Aziraphale smiled gratefully at her.

“Thank you my dear. I am so thankful to know you.” Aziraphale looked at the clock hanging on the wall. “ I do believe it’s time to go now. You should get back to Crowley now.” Anathema nodded and walked into the other room. Aziraphale waited a few seconds to gather himself before following her out of the room. He walked up to the beautiful cathedral that the two soon to be married picked out. They had made sure to pick a church and priest that was known for short services. Once he was ready the service started. It was a beautiful ceremony and whenever it started to get long Crowley or Aziraphale would remind the priest that they had somewhere to be soon. At the end the happy couple walked down the aisle together with the bride being carried so she wouldn’t have to spend another second hopping around.

Crowley woke up grateful that she had remembered to sober up before she went to bed. The reception had been crazy, lasting until 3 am before the partygoers had finally tired out and gone home. That gave barely any darkness for the new couple to consimate there marriage, meaning that Crowley, a demon who always valued sleep, slept into almost 1:30.

Crowley made themselves male, and walked downstairs to where his husband was helping customers.

“Hello my dear!” Aziraphale said when he felt the demons arms wrap around him. “I’m afraid I’m closing in a few minutes. Please check out now or leave.” The angel politely told the humans that were browsing around the old shop. Aziraphale then turned to his husband. “Would you mind waiting in the kitchen? We could eat then open the wedding gifts.” Crowley smiled and walked into the kitchen.

Crowley had picked up cooking in the 16th century to impress Aziraphale and to pass time. He had gotten quite good at it, but never had a chance to show his angel. Before Aziraphale finished with the customers, Crowley had already raided the fridge and cupboards to make lunch for the two. 

“I didn’t relize you cooked!” Aziraphale said when he noticed was his husband was doing. The demon shrugged in response.

“I picked it up a while ago. Got bored and needed something to do.” The angel nodded and walked closer.

“Can I help?” The angel asked.

Be nodded and instructed Aziraphale to chop up some vegetables. The two chatted, cooked, and before either of them relized it, the food was done. When they were finished eating, the two brought the pile of wedding presents to the small dining table. They got through the pile quickly, they didn’t have very many human friends that were still alive anymore, and when they got to the last one they were quite confused.

“I don’t remember picking up this one...” Crowley mused out loud. It was mostly to himself, but Aziraphale responded anyway.

“Nor do I my dear... How very odd...” They both sniffed it incase it was a trap.

“That’s so weird...” Aziraphale thought mostly to himself as he flipped the card around searching for any kind of marking.

“What?” Crowley was trying hard not to seemed too concerned.

“I-It’s from heaven, but not one of the angels... Or at least not any I know...”

“Let me try again!” The snake grabbed it from his hands. His tongue flicked out as he desperately smelled the soft pearl envelope. “It doesn’t seem dangerous...” Before Aziraphale could warn him otherwise, the demon had already ripped the envelope open. As he opened the card, a vaguely familiar scent filled the air and both husbands. It brought back warm memories of heaven. Back when everything was still good. It took them a few minutes to recover, but ehen they did Crowley read the words on the card in a loud and clear voice.

“Best of wishes on your marriage. I give you my pardon and a special gift for protection against those who dare oppose me. -G” As soon as he had finished reading the two felt a strong tingling sensation across their bodies, ending on their wings. Unconsciously they opened their wings.

“Y-you’re wings! They’re beautiful!” Aziraphale cried out as he saw his husband’s wings quickly turning from black to a beautiful gold leaving the tips a dark obsidian black.

“Ngk! Yours too Angel!” Aziraphale turned to see his once white wings were now similar to Crowley’s. It was as if someone had held the tips of their wings and dipped them in gold. Aziraphale gently took the card from Crowley’s astonished hands.

“G... Is that... God?” As soon as he said Her name, another wave of warmth passed through them and a pair of tickets appeared on the table. The angel replaced the card with the tickets. “A two week long trip around the old world” Aziraphale spoke out loud

“Better get packin’ Angel!” Crowley grinned.


	2. Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two husbands settle down for a while, but soon start feeling sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both characters will be female for most of the series. There’s a reference to the past, and Aziraphale is male in that part. Still not going to be going into any detail with the intimate scenes. I also still call them an angel and a demon because I forgot and don’t want to rewrite so much of the story. Plus I think it still makes sense.

Soon after the new couple went on their honeymoon to travel to the various places in the world that they met up with each other in history. Crowley had enjoyed speaking english, then speaking perfectly in whatever language he needed to. It messed with the locals and the other tourists. And every night when they got to their hotel room, they made love. It was the best two weeks of there lives, and were sad when they finally had to go back to England. 

“I quite enjoyed our trip my dear.”Aziraphale sighed.

“Me too” The demon purred back. “Do you know what my favorite part was Angel?” He asked, the demon’s voice dropped to a seductive whisper. “Getting to spend every moment with you. And not to mention the sex. If you stay half as good as you were these past two weeks, I will be the happiest demon ever.” They both broke into a smile. 

“I seem to have a lot to live up to.”The angel replied. His voice hinting at what was to come later that night. The two kissed before heading out to Anathema’s cottage to have dinner with all their human friends. 

“How was your honeymoon?” Anathema asked as they were all sitting around her table. It was cramped, but with a few miracles, they were able to make it work. 

“Amazing!” The demon replied. A mischievous smile spreading across his face. The angel blushed and kicked his husband under the table. 

“What? I didn’t say anything!” The Demonds voice was dripping with fake innocence.

“It’s not what you said, just what you implied. “ Aziraphale responded bitterly. The demon rolled his eyes and smirked while Newt blushed deeply when he realized what he had ment. 

A few weeks after the couple got back, Aziraphale wanted to meet their new neighbors that had moved in. 

“Come on my dear! It’s just a short visit! We’ll just introduce ourselves, then we can go home! If they invite us over longer, we can tell them that we have somewhere to be.” The angel was practically dragging the reluctant snake to their new neighbors house. 

“Can’t you go alone? Or better yet, wait until later, when I’m not here!” Crowley was eating at Aziraphale’s patience. 

“I promise it will be a short visit!” With a final shove, Aziraphale got Crowley to move on his own. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get him to stop dragging his feet. 

When they finally got to the doorstep, Aziraphale rang the doorbell and miracled some flowers. Crowley couldn’t help but glare at their state. It was as if they had never been yelled at properly. When the door opened, everyone was surprised to see who was at the other side of the door. 

“G-Gabriel?” Aziraphale stuttered as he dropped the flowers. Crowley used his brief moment of shock to push Aziraphale back and step protectively in front of him. 

“What are YOU doing here?” The snake snarled. 

“Now let’s be reasonable!” The Archangel looked afraid and backed up a step. 

“You want to talk about reasonable? How do you call your actions reasonable-“ Crowley was cut off by a familiar voice calling out from behind the door. 

“Who’z at the door?” It was Crowley’s turn to be shocked. 

“No one!” Gabriel shot back too quickly and made the questioner more curious than before. Before the Archangel could stop her, Beelzebub stuck her head out the door to see who was there. 

“Lord Beelzebub... Terrible to see you!” Crowley gawked to keep himself from saying or doing something that would get them killed. 

“What are you doing here?” The prince buzzed, almost afraid. 

“They decided to be good neighbors and visit us Bee.” He shot her a smile hoping she would understand its ‘We’ll talk later’ message. After the last time he had seen Aziraphale, Gabriel didn’t want to provoke a fight. It seemed to work as the demon prince dropped the subject. 

“Wait!” Aziraphale interjected. “Why would you pick HERE out of all places? You know I live here.” A sudden relization dawned apon the principality’s face. “Are you spying on us!?” Crowley glared harder as both new neighbors looked uncomfortable. 

“Well... Not... Exactly?” No one believed Gabriel, so Beelzebub winced and sighed. 

“We are in the zame boat az you. Both zidez think we are zpying, but we really are...” She struggled to find the right word. “...together...” She finally finished. She looked relieved and embarrassed at the same time. 

“Maybe we should talk about this inside?” Gabriel finally offered after a few moments of silence. Crowley shot Aziraphale a dirty look, as if daring him to break his promise. The two locked eyes before Aziraphale responded to his former superiors offer. 

“Why should we go inside your house? You already tried to kill us once.” If looks could kill, Gabriel would be back in his heavenly office. The Princeof Hell laught a little at the affronted angel. 

“You’re not innocent in this either!” Crowley snapped. Beelzebub grimaced in response. 

“You have no idea how hard it is to convince 10,000 angels to let you two walk free! We would have had another revolution on our hands!” Gabriel protested. 

“Pluzz He wanted uz to kill you! You can’t refuse our mazter!” The Crowley’s glaresoftened a little, but was still there. 

“I’m afraid we have to go. We’ll talk about this later.” Aziraphale’s tone was only vaguely threatening, however Gabriel looked relieved that it didn’t end in fighting. Principality’s were made for fighting, and were a lot stronger than Archangels. As soon as it was safe, Gabriel sighed in relief and closed the door. 

“Come upstairs Angel! You won’t regret it!” It had been a few days since they had met up with Gabriel and Beelzebub to talk, and the four decided that they did in fact have quite a bit in common. When Aziraphale got upstairs, he was suprised to see the demon in female form and wearing lingerie. He quickly turned a deep shade of red, which made Crowley laugh. She climbed out of bed and slowly walked to the stunned angel. She then lead him to the bed and they stayed there until it was time for the shop to open. 

They had adopted a more human schedule, running the bookshop, going out on dates, and spending the night together. They would usually stale male, but every once in a while, one would switch it up and change gender. Usually it was Crowley, both agreed she was gorgeous as a female, but Crowley was able convince Aziraphale to switch sometimes. 

Because of their new schedule, Crowley spent most of his time lounging around in the bookshop. After a few months of marriage, Crowley started to sleep more and even join Aziraphale in his meals. And what worried them even more, was that Crowley couldn’t change back to male anymore. 

“You okay my dear? You don’t normally eat with me.” The angel was concerned the first time the snake had grabbed a plate of the food they cooked together.

“Just felt hungry. You get that way sometimes, why can’t I?” He had a point, but it didn’t soothe Aziraphale.

The couple mostly ignored the new change and and started to treat it as normal until Aziraphale woke up to find Crowley throwing up in the bathroom.

“Crowley? Are you okay?” The angel stayed hesitantly at the door, unsure if she should move closer to the snake.

“I’m fine Angel! Most of had too much alcohol last night and didn’t relize it.” The demon smiled weakly, even though they both knew that she hadn’t had a drop the day before. She then patted the floor next to her.

“Come here and keep me company.” Aziraphale sat down and gently massaged her back until Crowley stopped throwing up. When they finally got back to bed, it was 2 am.

Aziraphale never slept. The angel found no reason to. Usually Aziraphale would stay in bed and read or wait until Crowley fell asleep before going downstairs and reading or doing angel things. However, after spending all day tired, Aziraphale decided to give the famed sleep a try. 

When Aziraphale woke up, the first thing the angel noticed was that Aziraphale was stuck in female form. The second thing she noticed was how HUNGRY she was. Aziraphale had craved food before but had never felt hungry. Certainly not this hungry! The third and final thing the angel noticed was that it was 3pm. 

“Oh dear! I hope Crowley is handling the shop well!” She miracled clothes on and walked downstairs. 

Crowley had memorized Aziraphale’s footsteps years ago, so when she heard her angel walking down the stairs, she jumped out of her chair and hugged her. This suprised Aziraphale, since Crowley had never been big on non sexual contact. 

“You’re awake Angel! It’s so good to finally see you again!” The demon pulled away and pulled out a chair for the angel when she noticed Aziraphale gazing hungrily at the cereal Crowley had been previously munching on. “Would you like my cereal Angel?” 

“Oh I couldn’t take yours my dear!” The angel yawned. 

“Don’t worry about it! I’ll go get another bowl.” She stood up and pushed the bowl towards Aziraphale. It wasn’t until then, when she relized what Crowley had said. 

“How long have I been asleep?” She asked cautiously. The demon froze. Her back to Aziraphale. “Crowley?” Aziraphale’s tone betrayed how worried she was. 

“...Three days...” The demon muttered, barely audible. If they had human ears, she would have had to repeat her answer she was so quite. 

“Oh dear” Aziraphale felt like she was about to faint. Crowley was back at her side within seconds. 

“Angel it’s okay! I’ve been on my own before! We’ve lived apart for years! This isn’t very different. Plus I made sure no one even thought of buying a book!” Aziraphale gave her a tight smile, but seemed a little better. 

“How have you been feeling while I was asleep?” There was pause. 

“The same...” Crowley trailed off. She tried to shrug it off, but Aziraphale wouldn’t let it slide. 

“It’s not a hangover is it?” Aziraphale’s heart broke as she said it and the demon’s face fell. 

“I- ngk! I don’t think so...” Crowley was at the brink of tears. She was frustrated and tired and hungry all the time! Plus half of the day she was either throwing up or feeling super nauseous! “I still feel a little sick!” She admitted miserably. 

“Crowley dear, why don’t I make us some tea? That might help a little? I hear ginger tea is good for nausea.” The angel was trying hard not to show how worried she was. Crowley needed support, so now was not the time to freak out. 

Crowley took a deep breath to calm herself before nodding. Aziraphale swiftly turned around to the small kitchenette. It was fairly large white kitchenette, but it didn’t need to be very big. The angel mostly used it to make tea and if he ever needed to host. Most nights he was hungry, Aziraphale would go eat out since money wasn’t restricted in heaven. In a few minutes, Aziraphale had placed the cup of ginger tea in front of Crowley, took a seat, and wolfed down cereal the demon had left for her. Before the tea had time to cool, Crowley had already dumped more sugar than Aziraphale knew she had in her sugar dish(she didn’t, Crowley used a few miracles to get enough). When the angel gave her a funny look, Crowley blushed and explained. 

“I don’t like ginger that much. Usin’ the sugar to alter the taste a bit.” The angel chuckled before getting up to get a more filling meal for herself. 

After two days in a row of waking up Aziraphale, Crowley decided to use miracles to keep the angel asleep. It worked for about 5 days before Crowley was awoken to someone other than her throwing up in the bathroom. She rolled over and by process of elimination found out that it was Aziraphale. The small black alarm clock that they kept on Crowley’s nightstand read 1am. The demon groaned from exhaustion, but got up to check on her angel. 

“How ya doin Angel?” Crowley leaned against the wooden doorframe casually in a failed attempt to calm both of them down. The angel in question sighed and wiped her mouth. 

“It seems I have the same illness as you my dear.” Crowley’s heart broke when she heard the tiredness and suffering in her angel’s voice. “Did I wake you? I tried so hard not to!” 

“Nah. I got up on my own. Sides, pretty soon you’ll have to share the toilet with me.” She tried to pass it off with a laugh, but it wasn’t very convincing. Crowley moved towards the sick angel and sat down next to her. “Maybe we should ask Beelzebub and Gabriel? They might have an idea of what this could be?” She already knew the answer, but suggested it anyway. 

“I don’t trust them yet my dear. We don’t know if they have alternative motives. They might attack if they know we’re in a weakened state.” The demon nodded. She had thought the same thing. “I’ll check my books in the morning. Maybe they will have any information.” 

For the next twenty minutes the two sat together chatting and trying to distract Aziraphale from how sick she felt, before Crowley soon joined her. They stayed in the bathroom for an hour before they finally felt good enough to go back to bed. 

When Crowley woke up, she found Aziraphale downstairs looking through her books. There were piles of old books overflowing on the kitchen table and more stacks on the floor. 

“Find anythin’ yet?” Aziraphale looked up suprised and set the book down. 

“Hello dear! Glad you’re awake!” Crowley raised an eyebrow and the angel sighed. She couldn’t hide it any longer. “No... Nothing yet...” The demons hopeful face fell. 

“I can help you?” Crowley offered cautiously. She knew how protective Aziraphale is when it comes to her books. The angel looked around the room and at the stacks of books. 

“I suppose so. As long as you promise to be careful! If there is even one rip!” Crowley laughed

“Come on Angel! I know how much these mean to you! I promise that if anything gets broken, I will repair it to new, plus I’ll bring you to dinner at the Ritz. The human way too!” 

The wives spent nearly the whole day searching through Aziraphale’s books. Crowley always had trouble sitting still for long periods of time, so every so often she would get up and do something. They both took a break for lunch and supper and if they hadn’t been so tired, they both would have stayed up all night. 

The next morning, nothing had changed. Both were still throwing up in the early morning, nauseous for hours, hungry, and still tired. At lunch Crowley finally had an idea. 

“Angel! We’re idiots! Can’t believe we missed it!” She ran upstairs to go get her phone. 

“What? What did we miss?” Aziraphale called after her as she raced up the steps

“Not what Angel, who.” The snake crowed with smug satisfaction. “I know who can help us!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you think can help them? What do you think is wrong with them? Leave your answers and any comments you wish to make in the comments! 
> 
> Side note- when Gabriel and Beelzebub move in, in my head there are houses on the side of the shop that we never get to see. And, I also HATE ginger! To the point where it makes me even more nauseous than before. Everyone else I know loves it, so I decided to have Crowley share my tastes. He was always kinda a picky eater in my head I guess.


	3. Who knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ineffable wives go to someone to see if they can help them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that took so long! I’ve been super busy with school and lately haven’t had the motivation to write. I’m going on a trip tomorrow, so I won’t have my phone, which means it might be a while before the next part comes out.

“Who? Who can help us?” Aziraphale asked as Crowley’s comment rattled through her brain. “It’s a suprise Angel!” The snake smiled mischievously and looked at the clock on the wall. It read 11pm. “One you’ll have to wait until morning to find out.” She ran upstairs and slammed the bedroom door shut. The angel groaned and followed her up. “Just tell me!” She pleaded. She could hear her laugh from the other side of the door. “Crowley!!!” The angel let out an exasperated sigh. “At least let me in? I’m tired too!” She heard weight shift from behind the door. “Fine. But! But you have to promise not to ask who it is. Or I will make you sleep on the couch!” “I promise!” The door slowly opened. “Thank you!!!” She rushed in and flopped on the bed. Crowley scoffed and miracled pajamas onto them both. “Night Angel.” She smiled softly as she miracled the lights off. “Good night my dear.” After a few hours of tossing and turning, trying to figure out who they were going to see the next day, the angel finally broke. “Are you still awake my dear?” She whispered “Not like I can fall asleep with all your flip flopping Angel.” She responded sarcastically. “Why won’t you tell me?” The angel whined. “It’s driving me crazy!” Aziraphale sat up and looked at the tired demon, trying to sleep. “Tsk tsk tsk Angel. It seems you broke your promise.” She scooted closer to the angel in a tired attempt to push her off of the bed. “No! I didn’t mean to!” Aziraphale wailed. “Too bad Angel. A promise is a promise. Now, I believe you get to sleep on the couch tonight! Good night. See you in the morning!” The demon turned around so she was no longer facing Aziraphale. The cast out angel sighed and slowly walked down to the living room. She paused at the door, but Crowley was already asleep. She then shuffled down the steps to the couch and slept the worst she had ever slept before. That being said, Aziraphale had only been sleeping for a month, and had never slept on a couch before, but it still was a miserable experience. The next morning she tried again. “Who are we going to see?” She was pleading with Crowley for any information. “I’m still not telling you Angel!” The demon could keep it up all day if she had to, she wouldn’t give up. Aziraphale pursed her lips. “Does the person at least know that we’re coming?” If Crowley had to call someone, she wasn’t above eavesdropping. The demon swore. She had been so close to keeping it totally secret. “No... Stay there! I’ll call the person and let them know.” She went into the other room and Aziraphale followed quietly after. Without even turning around, Crowley knew she was being followed. Aziraphale may not have made a sound, but she knew her angel’s scent by heart. “I thought I said to stay in the room Angel.” Crowley still didn’t turn around, and Aziraphale froze. “How did you know it was me?” She cried. “You’re a worse spy than you think. Now leave!” She turned on her heels and pointed towards the wooden archway that separated the living room from Aziraphale’s office. The pouting angel left. When Crowley knew she was alone, she used her phone to call someone. “Hello?” The person answered. “Crowley?” “Yeah it’s me. Listen, Aziraphale is making me call you ahead of time, but...” She hesitated. Asking for favors had always been hard for demons. Trades however, those were easy. She desperately thought of a way to make it a trade but came up blank. “We need your help.” There was a moment of silence. “Really? Alright. Yeah sure. Come on over.” “Great! We’ll be there in 20 minutes.” The demon hung up before the person on the other line could respond. When. Crowley walked back into the other room, Aziraphale brightened. She started to ask a question, but was shot down by Crowley’s glare. She grabbed her sunglasses and keys before telling Aziraphale anything. “Get ready. We’re leaving.” The angel scrambled to get her coat. Both were still nauseous from earlier, so no questions were asked and if Aziraphale had been paying attention to the road signs instead of how sick she was, she would have seen that they were going to Tadfield. Crowley was almost as nauseous as Aziraphale, so her speedometer never passed 85 and usually stayed around 77. When the bentley finally parked, Aziraphale finally noticed where they were. “Anathema?” She wondered out loud. The demon didn’t respond, she just walked as fast as she could to the cottage door and after gagging, Aziraphale soon followed her. The angel barely had time to compose herself before Anathema opened the door. “Wow! You were not joking about 20 minutes!” The witch said, suprised how soon they got there. “Do you-“ the angel gagged. “Mind if I use your bathroom?” She nodded and opened the door wide for her to run through. She looked like she was going to say something, but Crowley cut her off “Me too!” She pointed to her upstairs bathroom. “How fast were you going?” She shouted as the demon ran past her. “80” The demon shouted back before running upstairs. A moment later Aziraphale returned a little less green. “Where did Crowley go?” Her eyebrows knitted together with worry and ger eyes full of concern. “She’s in the other bathroom upstairs.” Anathema reassured her. “Now, what did you need my help with?” Just as Aziraphale was about to ask to wait for Crowley, her wife burst through the doorway to the hallway they were waiting in. “Now that you’re both here, please, sit down.” The two beings nodded and Anathema lead them into the open kitchen/living room. As she ushered them in, she grabbed a small leather bound notebook from a stand in the hallway. The two chose the couch and Anathema sat on the cloth chair. The witch pressed her hands together, her thumbs leaning on her chin, her finger tips just passing her nose. “So. Would one of you be so kind as to tell me why you so urgently needed to see me?” The two wives looked nervously at each other and started talking at the same time. Anathema silenced them with her finger. “One at a time please.” “Oh yes! Of coarse!” Aziraphale exclaimed. She then faltered. “Well... We...” Crowley cut her off before she could say anything else. “We don’t know. We were hoping you’d know.” The witch nodded slowly in understanding. “What’s been happening?” She asked. Aziraphale took a deep breath and answered. “We’ve been... Sick...” The angel wasn’t sure how to continue, but the witch seemed to understand. “Tell me your symptoms.” She pressed. Crowley answered this time. “Tiredness, nausea, increase in appetite, and probably not relevant, but we both seem to be stuck in female form.” Anathema racked her brain for answers. Three things can to mind, but only one was likely. “When was the last time you left the country?” She wanted to check the least likely of her list first. The two answered immediately. “Our honeymoon.” The witch nodded and write down their answer in the small notebook. “Have you been around anyone whose been out of the country recently?” She figured they didn’t have the Corona virus, but she wanted to make sure she wasn’t missing anything. The two thought for a moment before shaking their heads. Anathema wrote that down as well and moved onto the next possible answer on her list. Maybe that has the flu. “Have you or your... coworkers ever gotten sick before?” She was unsure what to call the other angels and demons, but thought coworkers was a fitting title. The two shook their heads again and the witch wrote it down as well. That left only one answer she could think of. “Have you heard of any angels or demons having children?” There was a moment of silence as the two thought of anyone who had had children. They shook their heads again before breaking the agonizing silence. “I guess we could ask Gabriel our Beelzebub...” Aziraphale said in a quiet voice. The demon growled at the thought of seeing them again, but otherwise didn’t protest. She did have a question that had been eating at her. “How would we get pregnant?” Anathema blinked surprised, but the couple seemed genuinely confused. “Well...” She was at a loss for words. How do you explain that to someone older than the earth? “You have slept together right?” Crowley forrowed her brow in obvious confusion. “What does that have to do with anything?” She asked pointedly. Anathema looked at them as she realized they actually had no idea. She took off her glasses and rubbed her temples as she explained everything to two beings 300 times older than her. The two were shellshocked when she was done explaining. She got two extra tests from her bathroom and set them on the coffee table in front of them. “If you want to, you can figure out for sure here.” They each grabbed a test and looked at either. Worry showing through their eyes. “It’s up to you my dear.” Aziraphale said softly to her partner. While unlike most demons, Crowley didn’t have depression or anxiety, yet Aziraphale always knew what topics were sensitive and could send her over the edge. The still shaken demon nodded wordlessly and slowly walked to the upstairs bathroom she had been in previously. Aziraphale made sure she didn’t change her mind before going to the downstairs one she used when they first arrived. Aziraphale returned first a moment later. The screen of the test pushed against the soft palm of her hand so she wouldn’t be able to see the result. She sat down and put the test up face down on the coffee table. Anathema knew better than to ask if she saw the answer since it hadn’t been 3 minutes yet. It felt like eternity, but has really only been 45 seconds before Crowley returned with it behind her back so she couldn’t accidentally look. When she saw Aziraphale’s test face down, she did the same and sat down, looking like she had seen a ghost. “How are you-“ The angel started before she was cut off by her wife’s sobbing. The two embraced, Aziraphale slightly surprised by the out burst, but supportive non the less. “What is it my dear?” To say she was worried was an understatement. “I-I understand if you want my to leave...” The demon stammered. Aziraphale stared at her shocked. “What ever do you mean my dear? We don’t know for sure if you are pregnant, and no matter what this little machine tells us, I will still love you! I will support you why other whatever decision you make!” The angel has always wanted a family, but if Crowley wasn’t ready, she would do anything to make her happy. She wasn’t a huge fan of abortion and she preferred adoption, but if the demon couldn’t handle giving birth just to give the baby away, she was understanding of different circumstances. “A-Angel? What do you want?” Crowley asked timidly. “What I want doesn’t matter right now. I don’t want you to make a decision based on my choice. It’s what you want that matters.” The last thing Aziraphale wanted was Crowley to be an unhappy mother. The demon nodded numbly and scooted closer to her angel. Aziraphale encouraged her to lay down and she started to massage her scalp to calm her down. After a few minutes, Anathema got up. “Do you two want any tea or something?” She offered as she started to move towards the kitchen. “Some ginger tea and... Does chamomile sound good my dear?” She directed the question to her wife who had just started to breathe normally. The demon shook her head. “I’m tired already Angel. I don’t need to be any more tired!” She joked. The angel chuckled and offered peppermint instead and Crowley happily agreed. Aziraphale was talking in a hushed soothing time when Anathema returned with the tea. Aziraphale thanked the witch as she took the tea from her and handed one to Crowley. It wasn’t until the wives finished their tea that Crowley was ready. As she reached over to grab her test, Aziraphale stopped her. “You asked me, but I never got to ask you. What do you want?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger! As always, let me know if you find any typos or mistakes and let me know any questions or suggestions you have! See you soon!


	4. Do you know for sure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley find out the source of their problems and discuss how they got into this predicament.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to write! School has been tough and I now don’t have much time with online schooling. This is also a little shorter than usual, but I wanted to get this out by the end of March. You may notice I used a new format. I’ll probably keep it this way since it’s a lot easier for me to write and keep track. Another note, (sorry it’s getting long) I edited the other chapter to make them sound better. Go check it out if you want, or don’t. I can’t control you

Aziraphale’s words rattled around her brain. 

“ What do you want?” 

“I-I” She stuttered. Crowley took a deep breath before responding. “I think I want a baby.” The poor demon almost burst into tears again and Aziraphale tried to comfort her as best as she could. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to commit yourself to something you don’t want.” The demon hesitated, then nodded. “Are you ready to flip it over then?” Crowley shook her head. 

“Not until you tell me what you want. And don’t tell me your happy with my choice! That is my line! Not yours!” She laughed softly. “All jokes aside though, what do  you want?” The angel didn’t hesitate for a second. 

“I want a family too! And it’s not because you want one. I don’t care who’s pregnant! Just as long as we are together and happy!” She gently moved Crowley’s sunglasses down and stared deeply into her yellow eyes. A cough from the other side of the room brought them back into the real world. The angel laughed at her wife’s blushing face. “Now are you ready?” Crowley nodded with more confidence than she thought she had. 

“On the count of three we look okay?” Aziraphale smiled in agreement. 

“One, two, three” The two flipped the tests over at the same time and each saw two lines. They stared at both tests and each other for a moment before embracing. Aziraphale almost started crying from happiness when she saw the positive sign. 

“I love you Angel!” Crowley whispered softly. Aziraphale smiled and chuckled. 

“I love you too my dear!” The two human shaped beings held onto each other tightly before they were reminded of the witch who helped them. “Thank you Anathema! You have helped us so much!” The witch smiled her response and stood up to put the mugs away when Crowley stopped her. 

“Why do you have two pregnancy tests?” The demon asked slowly. Aziraphale nudged her roughly, but Anathema shrugged. 

“Agnes told me. Plus it was cheaper to buy them in pairs. If you didn’t use them both, then I would eventually. ” She responded simply. But her answer didn’t satisfy the snake. 

“She knew we were coming? I thought you burned the book!” The witch laughed and picked up the empty mugs in front of them. 

“I burnt the second book, not the first. This was in the first book.” The angel and demon looked at each other confused. 

“I thought the book ended shortly after the apocalypse.” Aziraphale was asking more than stating. Anathema shook her head. 

“Nope. There were a few more. This was the last one though. For a while I wasn’t sure who it was for though. Until you called, I thought it was for me.” The witch explained. 

“You knew as soon as I called?” The demon asked, pressing for more answers. 

“No, but it was the most likely answer.” She explained. The witch gazed briefly at the clock above the couple’s heads, hoping it wouldn’t grab their attention, but to no avail. The demon’s watchful eyes caught her gaze and looked at her expensive watch, the same one he wore to Warlock’s birthday party, and tapped her wrist at the angel to show they had to leave.

“Oh!” Aziraphale stood up the second she saw the time. The bookshop had to open soon, and now that she wasn’t getting celestial wages, she did need to sell a few books. Even if they were ones she ordered just to sell. “So sorry my dear, we’re going to have to cut our visit short. The shop has a very tight schedule!” The witch waved them off. 

“It’s no problem! Newt will be home soon anyway.” The two beings said their good byes, and started the drive back to Soho. On the drive back, Crowley voiced both of their main question. 

“How did we even get pregnant?” Aziraphale shrugged. 

“I don’t know!” The demon thought a moment before coming up with a possible answer. 

“Maybe we ate a baby!” Crowley offered. Aziraphale scoffed in response. 

“We both know neither of us have eaten a baby before!” 

“Maybe you haven’t” The angel turned her head sharply. 

“Crowley!” Crowley laughed. 

“I’m kidding Angel! I’m sure there’s some other way it happens.” Aziraphale nodded in agreement. 

“Maybe it happens from extreme amounts of love!” She smiled, pleased with herself. 

“Maybe it just happens.” The angel frowned. Crowley always seemed to ruin her fun! The two pondered over any possible explanations the ride back, but were unable to come up with any other reason. 

“Maybe no one knows!” The angel suggested finally. The demon thought a moment before nodding in agreement. 

“That seems like the most likely answer.” The two continued their normal routine, happy that they could agree on a possible answer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are idiots. 
> 
> Please leave a comment and let me know if I got anything wrong, from typos to flat out misinformation, all comments are appreciated!


	5. The Neighbors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale wants to share the news, but Crowley isn’t happy with who

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. My teachers have decided that no school means more homework! Yay! I’ve been supper busy and have had no motivation to write when I have time. I only seem to want to write when I should sleep instead.

“I hate to tell you this dear, but we have to visit our neighbors.” Aziraphale said as she came down the steps one morning. Crowley looked up from the cereal she was eating and used all her strength not to glare at her wife. 

“You’re going to need to be more specific Angel, we have quite a few neighbors.” Crowley focused on eating her breakfast the entire time she talked, knowing full well who Aziraphale wanted to talk to.

“You know who I mean.” Aziraphale shot back sternly. Crowley only shrugging vaguely. “Well, if we’re pregnant, it’s important that they know!” 

“Why? So they can kill them? Or take them to either side? We don’t know if they’re lying Angel! I don’t want to risk it!” Crowley was furious! How could Aziraphale say that? She knew how dangerous they were and how much they wanted to kill them after Armageddon! 

“I just want to warn them! If you don’t want to go, fine! But I’m going no matter what you say. I don’t need you to tell me what I can and cannot do!” Aziraphale immediately regretted her last sentence, but started walking towards the door anyway. 

“Wait! Angel! Let’s talk this out!” She tried positioned herself between the upset angel and their door but she was pushed out regardless. 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She replied calmly, trying not to show her anger. “I want to warn Gabriel and Beelzebub, you don’t want to go.” Aziraphale walked out the door with the demon following her pleading the whole way. As they got closer, the snake’s pleas got more and more desperate until Beelzebub opened the door, angry that they had been interrupted by the arguing traitors outside. 

“What do you traitorz- traitors want?” They correct themselves. Crowley smiled guiltily at her old boss. 

“My lord! We were just on- wait... Why did you say an s normally?” The former prince sighed. 

“I only pronounce s like z when I’m stressed, like when you two showed up unexpectedly, or when I’m in hell. I believe the same thing happens to you?” Crowley gave them a sarcastic smile in response. 

“Crowley and I came here to tell you and Gabriel something important.” She looked around for any eavesdroppers. There weren’t any, but she didn’t want to take any chances. “In private is preferred.” The former prince nodded and yelled up the steps for their partner. 

“GABE! WE HAVE VISITORS!” The group could here the archangel’s response clearly. 

“I’M BUSY!” Beelzebub smiled apologetically at them and shouted back to Gabriel. 

“COME DOWN HERE! THEY SAID IT’S IMPORTANT!” She turned back to the wives. “He’ll be down soon.” They opened the door and usered the two into their living room. “Tea?” They offered. Crowley blinked, confused. 

“You’re certainly polite today!” Crowley murmured, mostly to herself. 

“Someone has to be!” They pointed out as they miracled 3 cups of tea. “It’s not really Gabriel’s scene to be nice to either of you.” Crowley scoffed at the idea of Gabriel being nice to them and Aziraphale nudged her for her rudeness. A moment later Gabriel came down the stairs. 

“Who’s-oh.” The archangel’s face fell as soon as he saw who was sitting in  ** his  ** living room. Drinking **his** tea. (1.) “What do you want this time? And why are you a woman Aziraphale?” He asked coldly. 

“Why should we tell you?” Crowley shot back and Aziraphale elbowed her. “...Sorry Angel” She mumbled. Aziraphale ignored her and turned instead to the now seated archangel. 

“That is what we’re here for actually.” Aziraphale said. Her voice was slightly cold and distant. “We-um-well... Did you know it was possible for us to... reproduce?” The couple opposite of her glanced at each other, then gave her a weird look. 

“Yes of course!” Gabriel was almost laughing at her. “Heaven did a leason about it! But I think you said something to the lines of ‘I better stay here on earth! Just in case the humans need me!’” Aziraphale blushed in shame. 

“And what’s the point of being a prince if you don’t get any top secret information. Even if this particular information is available to anyone if they actually work hard for once.” Beelzebub glared pointedly at Crowley, who blushed as well. 

“Wait... Don’t tell me! You’re pregnant?!” The wives somehow blushed even redder. “Both of you?” Gabriel couldn’t hold back his laughter any more. “Aziraphale you are so stupid!” He started wiping away tears of laughter and the entire room glared at him. Crowley clenched her fists, ready to fight the archangel to the death when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned sharply to the owner of the hand. 

“You can’t let him treat you like this Angel!” She whispered harshly. Aziraphale smiled sadly and nodded. 

“I know, but I don’t want us to get kicked out of here. They may be the only people who can help us.” Crowley begrudgingly agreed. Beelzebub cursed at Gabriel, nudging him to get him to stop laughing. 

“Shut up Gabe!” Beelzebub hissed. “Do you want to get turned into a pile of ash? Cause I personally don’t want to become demon stew!” He instantly paled. 

“I-um... Sorry...” He mumbled. They ignored him, instead choosing to speak over him to his partner. 

“Well, that’s all we came for! We’ll just be off then! Thank you for your time!” Aziraphale rambled, clearly awkward. The two rushed out the door as fast as they could without seeming too rude. Once the two were out the door the owners of the house sighed in relief. 

“That was close!” Gabriel whispered as he nuzzled closer to his partner. 

“They’ll find out eventually Gabe. This isn’t the type of thing we can hide.” They said, stepping away from the archangel before he could get to close. After all, this kind of behavior was what got them in this mess in the first place.

(1.) Even if he never actually drank it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think they’re hiding? Please let me know what you think of this chapter! Hopefully the next one will come out quicker since it’ll probably be shorter.


	6. The truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley find out Beelzebub and Gabriel’s secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I wrote this fast! I have no idea how long this is but hopefully it’s not too short! Friday’s and the weekends are the most productive for me because of school, so expect more during weekends

Aziraphale woke up feeling warm and happy from the night before. She turned over to see her wife still sleeping beside her. The sun hitting her red hair framing her face made her glow. She sighed happily and considered going back to sleep when she noticed the time. It was nearly 10:30! She groaned. Her good mood ruined by plans she had miraculously made a week prior. She sighed (1.) and gently but urgently woke up the demon beside her. 

“Crowley dear, we have to get up or we’ll be late.” She whispered softly. “We need to get to our appointment early!” She reminded her. The demon groaned and looked at the alarm clock she forgot to set. (2.)

45 minutes later they were at a doctors office waiting for their first 7 and 8 week ultrasound. Crowley was scrolling lazily on her phone when a familiar voice caught her attention. 

“That’s not the way that works you idiot!” She shot a look at Aziraphale, who nodded, signaling that she heard the voice too, before slowly turning around. There they were, the couple they just couldn’t seem to get rid of. 

“I’m just saying that while not common, it is possible!” At this point Aziraphale turned around too. 

“No! Absolutely not!” 

“Maybe they won’t notice us!” She thought to herself. 

“Bee! Would you please quiet down? People are staring-Aziraphale!” A look of confusion passed Beelzebub’s face before they noticed where their partner was looking. Gabriel looked unsure if he should talk to his fellow angel, or hide and pretend they weren’t there. 

“Well, there goes that plan!” Crowley thought to herself, sarcastically cheerful. By this point both couples were aware that the other couple knew of theur presence, so Gabriel decided to break the ice and talk to the two. 

“Hey guys! Nice to see you here! How ya doing?” His fake cheer was obvious. 

“What are you doing here Gabe?” Crowley asked. Her voice was harsh and was clearly constraining herself from pushing Aziraphale behind her. The archangel winced at the nickname. 

“Doesn’t matter.” He brushed the question aside. “What matters is you two! Are you excited? Nervous? Both?” He prompted them. The two just glared at him. 

“What are you doing here?” Crowley tried again. Her voice was colder and more forceful this time. 

“Angel stuff! Not important!” He tried to brush them off again and was clearly growing desperate. 

“Mz. Zebub and Mr. Archangel?” The young nurse called out. Gabriel look relieved for the excuse to leave. 

“Archangel? Really? What amazing creativity you have!” Crowley replied sarcastically. Aziraphale gave her a light nudge. 

“I’m sorry Angel. I don’t know why you stand up for him, but I’ll be more considerate for you.” The former angel smiled confused. 

“That’s very kind, but not what I ment.” 

“What did you mean then?” 

“Why do they both have to go if Gabriel said it was ‘Angel stuff?’” Crowley looked at Aziraphale, bewildered. 

“I think they’re here for the same reasons we are.” Aziraphale spelled out for her. Realization flashed across the demon’s face. 

“Who do you think it is?” Crowley asked, her voice hushed. 

“I’m not sure. It could go either way.” Crowley nodded thoughtfully. 

“I guess we’ll have to wait 90 minutes for them to come out. In the meantime, we should work on our backstory.” The last sentence earned the demon a few weird looks and their neighbor scooted away from them. 

The couple was so busy rehearsing that they almost didn’t notice Beelzebub and Gabriel leaving the doctors office. However, Aziraphale’s extra eyes came in handy when she was able to see Beelzebub slip an ultrasound in their pocket. The couple shared a look and started walking towards their former bosses. 

“I didn’t know demons where allowed to help with angel business!” Crowley said slyly. “That could have really helped us out Angel!” Aziraphale tried and failed to supress a giggle. 

“Angel businezz- business? Is that really what you told them we were doing here?” Beelzebub asked their partner. They looked slightly offended. 

“Fine! Why don’t you tell them what we were doing here?” Gabriel snapped. 

“I’m pregnant.” They blurted out before they could stop themselves. 

“What?! You weren’t supposed to tell them the truth!” Gabriel sputtered. 

“Good relationships are not built on lies Gabie.” They reminded him. The angel winced at the name. 

“We have places to go, people to see, Bee! Let’s go!” Gabriel’s energy almost made up for how rude he had been. Just as the two left, Crowley and Aziraphale’s names were called. 

“Mrs. Fell and Mrs. Crowley?” The two looked at each other nervously and Crowley’s hand snaked over to Aziraphale’s. 

“Let’s go, Angel”

(1.) This time less happily  
(2.) Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did Crowley and Aziraphale show up 2 hours early? Because they wanted to prepare and because it was convenient for the story line


	7. The appointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wives finally have their doctors appointment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I’ve been so busy with graduation and I had originally written all of the questions before I released that I have no idea what I’m doing.

The two followed the nurse into a doctors office. It was about the size of a classroom with two chairs next to each other and a third swively one facing the other two and a desk next to the swivel chair. There was an examination table with another chair and a computer a few feet away and a sink on the far side of the room. The whole place was painted white with white tile floors. 

“Please, have a seat!” The nurse exclaimed in a fake cheery tone as she motioned to the chairs next to each other. “The doctor should be in here soon!” The two sat down, still holding hands. After a minute, the doctor came in. She was a tall, thin woman with dark brown hair, a pale skin tone, and blueish green eyes. Her name tag read Anastasia Rabinov. Crowley read it and did a double take. 

“Anastasia?” She asked, her eyebrows raised. Dr. Rabinov smiled. 

“Named after the grand duchess. My parents had a grim since of humor.” She explained.

“Do you know any russian?” Crowley asked. Dr. Rabinov laughed confused. Usually it was her who asked the questions. 

“No. I learned a little in middle school, but lost interest and forgot.” Crowley nodded knowingly. 

“Cool.” She turned to Aziraphale and started speaking in fluent russian. 

“Did you know Anastasia, Angel?” Aziraphale nearly burst out laughing, but was able to control herself. 

“Nyet. I was helping with the world war at the time. But I did help Peter the Great at one point. Catherine the great too I think! What about you?” Aziraphale responded in russian as well. 

“Da. Downstairs wanted me to temp Rasputine(1). She was a very nice girl. All of the Romanov girls were very pretty. Gave their guards a lot of trouble(2).” Crowley smirked at her own comment before continuing. “Such a shame what happened to them though(3).” They nodded sadly at each other. “I left Russia shortly after Stalin’s death. Didn’t want to get into that mess!(4)” Dr. Rabinov stared at the two wide eyed and her mouth hanging open. Aziraphale smiled apologetically and motioned for her to start the appointment before Crowley started ranting about Russia anymore. 

“Let’s get started shall we?” Crowley smirked. 

Dr. Rabinov started asking questions and the wives tried to answer them as truthfully as possible. Finally they got to the only part worth documenting. (5) The ultrasound. 

“Let’s start with you Antonia.” Dr. Rabinov smiled pleasantly. Crowley nodded. The group moved over to the examination table and machine. Crowley hopped up less elegantly than she would have liked. “Now, this is going to be a bit cold.” She warned Crowley as she prepared to put the gel on her stomach. The demon hissed in shock when the gel was applied anyway. 

Dr. Rabinov just smiled as she put the magic wand that allowed so many couples to see their babies on Crowley’s slightly swollen stomach. The room held their breath until the baby was seen. 

“There your baby is!” Dr. Rabinov grinned and Crowley had to wipe a tear from her eyes before Aziraphale noticed. “Are you ready to hear the heartbeat?” The wives nodded so Dr. Rabinov pressed a button and a faint heartbeat was heard. “Congratulations Mrs. Crowley! You have a healthy baby! Judging by the size and how you mentioned earlier that morning sickness had gone away(6), you look to be about 12 weeks. You probably should have come in sooner though, just in case there were any problems.” The doctor handed Crowley a washcloth for her stomach(7) and turned to grab the pictures she had printed. While she wasn’t looking, Crowley miracled the gel off her stomach and onto the washcloth. The demon hopped off of the table and was handed the ultrasound pictures. Aziraphale then got on the table less gracefully than Crowley, causing said demon to laugh.

“Oh hush you!” She snapped, causing Crowley to laugh more. Dr. Rabinov applied the same gel to Aziraphale, who gasped in surprise. 

“See! Its freezing!” Crowley exclaimed, causing Dr. Rabinov to laugh. She put the wand on Aziraphale and a picture appeared. It looked slightly different from Crowley’s. Dr. Rabinov smiled mysteriously. 

“Congratulations! You are 11 weeks pregnant with twins!” 

(1) Not that he needed help. He was so messed up! He had so many lovers, including the czarina! He is one of the causes of the Russian revolution! But his death was awesome! He was invited over to some people’s house and they gave him enough poison to kill an elephant in pastries, but he drank so much alcohol, that the reaction was super delayed. When that failed they tried to hit him over the head and it only angered him. They then shot him in the leg, arm, and maybe chest. When he finally collapsed they shot him in the head and threw him in the river. If he had died sooner, the Russian Revolution may have never happened. Did I mention that he was a monk?

(2) So the Romanov’s were arrested during the revolution. They were locked in fairly nice houses and guarded. The two oldest girls kept sweet talking the guards and would convince them to get stuff for them so the guards had to be routinely changed. 

(3) THIS MAKES ME UPSET! So my AP World History book mentioned that the Romanov’s were executed, BUT THAT IS A FUCKING LIE! And I don’t swear! Yes the parents were executed, but you don’t execute kids. YOU MURDER THEM! The youngest was 13 and the oldest was 22! And the way they did it was awful! They lined them up and started shooting them woth their servants and dogs, but the girls were wearing diamonds and jewels, so the bullets were reflecting off of them which means they had to watch their 13 year old brother/son die next to them along with their father/husband. When the bullets weren’t killing them, the guards were afraid they were immortal so they started stabbing them with their bayonets until the dry wall behind them callapsed. Look me in the eyes and tell me that’s execution. The movie Anastasia is roughly based off of this because the people who arrested them dumped the bodies in two separate ditches somewhere and poured acid over them. They then told everyone the czars were still alive, but when the bodies were found, the czar and one daughter was missing(they only found one ditch). For years scientists argued if it was Anastasia or Maria since they were only 2 years apart in age. Eventually they figured out it was Anastasia and that she and her father was burried in a different site. But many people thought she escaped, so many people pretended to be her. The most famous was Anna Anderson. When she wasin her 70’s she had a husband who was in his 40’s. Definitely not a gold digger! We say as a collective group sarcastically. This now concludes the longest foot note ever. 

(4) Yay! More Russian history you probably didn’t want to know! I’m not gonna get too deep into this and just say, if you want to learn more about Stalin’s death, watch “Death of Stalin” on Netflix. I have been told it is fairly accurate, but don’t take my word on it. It’s probably the most mild movie Steve Buscemi is in. I don’t recommend if you don’t like blood, dead bodies, or swearing. But plus side, it’s a comedy!

(5) And let’s be real here, the only reason we’re here. 

(6) So this happened when they were answering questions. I had it originally put in, but got rid of all if the questions. 

(7) Is it weird that I don’t like the word belly? But now I’ve used stomach so much that I hate it too. It’s 1 am. I should stop editing and go to sleep 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any historians or people who know I made a mistake, please tell me so I can fix it. All the Russian history is based off of what my teacher has told me. 
> 
> Sorry if this is bad! I was rushing myself to get it done today, on the 1st anniversary of GO TV. 
> 
> If you have any questions or something to say, I will respond to all comments! Have a good day!


	8. It’s all down hill from here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ineffable wives discuss plans for the new babies and Crowley gets stopped on her way home from watering her plants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finished this chapter early, but didn’t want to post it too early. I’m weird, I know.

“Twins?” The wives yelled at the same time. Crowley started rubbing her temples, a headache already forming. 

“Three? We’re going to have three children?” The demon started pacing the floor. 

“It’s quite common for multiples when you have a fertility treatment of any kind.” Dr. Rabinov calmly explained. The two looked at each other. 

“Right! Yes! We definitely did that!” Crowley not so gracefully covered. “Whatever that means...” She mumbled. Miraculously, Dr. Rabinov did not hear Crowley. 

“Here’s your pictures, do you have any questions?” Crowley, still pacing, didn’t pay her any attention, while Aziraphale said no. “Talk to the front desk about making an appointment for next month.” The doctor left, having places to go and people to see. The two followed after her, not bothering to make an appointment. 

“What are we gonna do, Angel? We’re gonna struggle taking care of two! Even more with three!” Crowley asked, while barreling down the street. Aziraphale nodded thoughtfully. 

“We’re going to have to move. The bookshop is cramped enough as is.” 

“Yeah. What about Tadfield? I think a nice cottage miraculously opened up?” Crowley suggested. 

“It would be nice to live closer to Adam.” Aziraphale thought out loud. “But we need to check later. The bookshop needs to open soon if we are to ever afford the new house.” The demon sped up at her Angel’s words. The car screeched to a stop outside the bookshop and Aziraphale got out. 

“I need to water some plants I left at my apartment. I’ll be back for supper. Oh, and space for plants and books has to be a priority in the new house.” The angel nodded in agreement and Crowley sped off. 

Crowley first noticed the black van about 5 blocks from the building, but thought nothing of it, since it was possible the two were going to the same place. 

The demon went inside, yelled at her plants, watered them, and yelled at them some more. Although, it should be noted that Crowley has not yelled at them nearly as much as she normally did, which is a side effect of being happy. When she got back into the Bentley, Crowley noticed the black van had parked, but no one had gone in or out. She also noticed an illegal tint on the windows. 

“It’s possible the driver is waiting for someone.” Crowley reasoned with herself. But all her fears came back when she reached a stoplight and only one car separated her and the creepy van. 

She purposely turned too early and circled around back to the same stoplight. The van still trailed after her. Now that she knew she was being followed, the snake pulled over and got out, fully intending to show the driver the reason her plants feared her. However, she only made it 5 feet before another van pulled over and someone hit her over the head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is done, just waiting for the right time to post it. I love cliffhangers! The next chapter is a cliffhanger too!


	9. Silence is key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley meets his captors
> 
> WARNING!!! TRANSFOBIA!!! TORTURE!!! VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THESE NEXT THREE CHAPTERS CONTAIN TORTURE!!! PLEASE BE CARFUL!!! If you are uncomfortable with this, please contact me and I can summarize it. I care about you all! 
> 
> Alright! I’m excited for this chapter! Again PLEASE CONTACT ME IF YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THESE NEXT THREE CHAPTERS!!!!!

The first thought that went through Crowley’s mind when she woke up was 

“Ow!” The second was “Where am I?” And, unfortunately, it wasn’t until her third thought that she remembered she had another life to take care of. She immediately sat up and saw she was on the floor of what seems like a prison cell. There were no windows and a small cot was pressed against the wall. Behind her was a large, locked, iron door with bars. Ten feet away from the door, two guards were standing before a bend in the hallway. Next to her, there was a plate of food. It wasn’t until she noticed it that she released how hungry she was. Her forked tongue flicked out, smelling the plate. Had she been human, the drug would have gone unscented, but her demonic and snake abilities kicked in and she noticed a distinct sleeping drug mixed in. She pushed the plate away. 

Crowley decided she would rather starve than drug her baby. 

She heard whispering in harsh, voices outside the cell. 

“The thing is awake.” A pause. “No. We haven’t touched it since it got here.” Another pause. “Yes sir.” The guard hung up and both started walking over to the cell in their loud, clunky boots. 

Crowley just stared as a guard opened the cell door. His rough hands grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up, forcing her out of the cell and down the long hallway, into a room that was more of an opening than a room. 

The not quite room was painted all white with light grey painted cement floors, matching the cell and hallway. 

A man who looked about 60 was standing in the not quite room, his back facing the demon. He was pale and was a mix between balding and shaved. What little hair left was salt and pepper stubs. The man looked like he noticed he was balding and decided to be bald by choice, but didn’t know how. He turned around and showed his beard was only slightly longer. 

“Ah! I see you have finally woken up!” The man stated calmly, as though he was discussing the weather. “I’m so glad you could join us! Though you look very different from before.” He smiled as though Crowley should be honored to be in his presence. “Let me introduce myself! I’m Dr. Taylor Phillips, a scientist who worked with Dr. Sable on his many weight loss diets, before his unfortunate disappearance.” The name Sable seemed familiar, but Crowley couldn’t place from where. “I have been studying you for the past 20 years, yet despite the amount of time that has passed, you have not changed, other than your obvious sex change.” Crowley flinched, but stayed silent. “Now, care to tell me a little about yourself?” He smiled both evilly and expectantly at the same time. Crowley stayed silent still. “You’re the quiet type eh? Well, you’ll talk soon. Everyone does eventually.” The man was giving away evil grins like Halloween candy! He nodded and did a small hand motion to the guards and Crowley was brought to a large wooden chair and strapped in. 

“Now, lets have that talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, these chapters are getting shorter and shorter! They seem longer when I write them! 
> 
> I know this isn’t really the place, but I need some suggestions. I have names picked out, but if you wanna guess them or give me suggestions, I’ll give you a shoutout in the soonest possible chapter. So say if you guess right in this chapter, I’ll give you a shoutout in chapter 10. But if you guess right in chapter 13, I’ll give you a shoutout in chapter 14. I also need help thinking of what the kids are going to call Aziraphale and Crowley. I honestly have no idea.


	10. What on earth do I call this chapter?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS TORTURE!!!!  
Please comment or DM me or something and let me know if you want a brief overview of the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I always say(I think, it’s been a while since I posted, sorry), please feel free to aware me of any mistakes or typos! I dove headfirst into something I have no knowledge about!

Crowley refused to speak. The man would be lucky to hear a squeak from the demon. You don’t live through the midieval ages without learning a thing or two about torture. And it was a dangerous thing indeed. If you spoke too much too soon, your captures would kill you once they got their information,and getting a new corporation from downstairs would be tricky. But if you refused to talk, they could kill you or make you wish you were dead. It was a dangerous situation either way. 

Crowley figured the littler Dr. Phillips knew about her, the better. One particular piece of important information was the baby. If Dr. Phillips knows about the baby, who knows what he would do to them. No Crowley figured. She won’t tell him anything. 

When Dr. Phillips noticed her lack of speech, he got upset. 

“Maybe I can losen your tongue.” A clap and the guards that brought the silent demon out steped closer to her. Then one punched her slightly above her jaw. It wasn’t hard enough to have a lasting impact, but it would bruise and already stung. Yet still, she refused to speak. 

Crowley lost track of time quickly. It could have been an hour or three. The only thing that kept Crowley silent was thinking of Aziraphale and the babies. Finally, the torture stopped and Crowley was forced up unto her feet. It took all her strength not to fall on her face. 

She was shoved back into her cell and finally, she fell. The now cold food was still there, still drugged. Crowley crawled into the cot and fell asleep. 

Without windows, she had no idea what time it was. It was then that she noticed her phone, watch, wallet, and all other items in her pockets were gone. She assumed they had been taken to another room to keep her from breaking out or calling for help. 

It had been minutes since the demon had woken up, and the guards rushed in to take her back to the terrible chair. This happened for what could have been a month, or could have been a week. Each time worse than the last. Each time the only sound Crowley made was the occasional grunt of pain. Each time Crowley grew weaker and weaker, very rarely eating. Many times the food was drugged, so many times Crowley didn’t eat. Her normally lean body lost weight more rapidly because of the other life using what little food she had. Sleep was Crowley’s only escape, and after all, most demons sleep. When they first fell, demons used sleep as a way to escape the pain of falling, and, after a few years, they all got used to it. At first, Crowley didn’t see the point of sleeping. After all, there were other things to do to distract you from the pain. But you get put on a lot of guard shifts when you’re the only one who doesn’t sleep. When he was first stationed on earth, Crowley stayed away. After all, many people could be tempted during the night. However, he soon got bored, and got back in the habit of sleeping. Now, Crowley was back in the habit of sleeping off pain. Whenever the snake felt slightly stronger, a guard would come in and give her a shot, sucking out all her miracles, keeping her from even the simplest command. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long to get out! I wrote all the way up to 13, but I accidentally deleted all of it and had to rewrite it, which took forever! Plus I’ve been really busy with school and it’s been taking away all motivation.  
If you follow me on Instagram(Helpcrowleysplants) you may have noticed I said I was gonna write a crossover like 2 months ago. That’s still happening, I’m posting it here and on Instagram, I’ve just been really busy.


	11. The doctor knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!! TORTURE!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please contact me if you want a brief overview of the chapter!

Crowley had no idea how long the cycle lasted before Dr. Phillips got information. Not from Crowley, but from an outside source. 

Crowley had been to weak to stand, so she was brought to the evil chair by a wheelchair. Yet this time, she wasn’t strapped in. 

“So Miss Crowley. I guess someone is pretty worried about you.” The demons eyes widen in fear, but tried to hide her recognition of her name too late. The man knew who she was. “Don’t worry! We won’t do anything to harm you,” He paused. “or your baby if you just talk to me.” Crowley froze, unable to move, barely registering his words. 

“How did he know?” Was racing throughher mind. “Angel!” She relized. “She must have told someone!” Crowley desperately hoped that Aziraphale wasn’t taken by the foul man. 

Crowley knew her and her family’s best chance of survival was to keep silent and hold out until her wife could come and save the day. 

Dr. Phillips was not happy about her silence. In fact, he was so angry he hit her himself. The whole time, the man had been telling his guards what to do, but he finally lost is temper and slapped her right across the face. Now, it had been weak since the old man was anything but strong, but it was unexpected and the demon had been trapped for who knows how long that even a weak slap hurt. 

It seemed that hitting her himself didn’t calm him. That session was the worst yet. It lasted longer than ever. They cut her and at on point the guards even threw her on the ground and started kicking her. There was a sickening crunch as a rib was broken and another later as her arm was crushed by Dr. Phillips boot. 

Crowley then collapsed from pain, blood loss, and hunger. 

Crowley awoke to loud voices outside her cell and her ribs and arm throbbing. The voices were Dr. Phillips and a guard. 

“Well clearly someone cares about the thing!” Her captor cried. 

“What should we do sir?” 

“I’ll look at it’s contacts. See who we can talk to about setting up a ransom.” 

“Yes sir.” Loud footsteps drew closer and all of a sudden Crowley was forced up, gasping in pain. She hurt everywhere. Her cuts stung and her broken bones ached, yet she hung her head high. “Get up filthy creature!” Crowley just glared from her forced kneeling position. 

“Who is this ‘Angel?’” Dr. Phillips asked, appearing in front of Crowley. “They must care a lot to call so many times!” The demon could see where the man was trying to go, yet still allowed hope to sprout in her chest. If Aziraphale was trying to find her, then the evil man would feel the angels holy wrath. Crowley felt a familiar object pressed into her hand. Her phone. “Now, you tell this ‘Angel’ to give me two million dollars or I tell the government what kind of monsters are living among us.” He swiftly turned on his heel, snapped, and the guards followed. With shaky hands, Crowley dialed the all too familiar number of the bookshop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry. This is going to be a cliffhanger for a while 
> 
> It gets better I promise!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale’s side of the story

2 weeks earlier 

Aziraphale was minding the bookshop for two and a half hours before she got worried. 

“Maybe she got stuck in traffic? I’m sure she’ll be here soon!” The angel thought optimistically. 

Half an hour later, Crowley still hadn’t arrived and Aziraphale decided to call. Yet when she called the demon, no one answered. She left a voicemail. 

“Hello dear! Just wondering when you’re getting back. I was thinking maybe we could eat out tonight to celebrate. Call me as soon as you can!” 

Half an hour later she left another voicemail. 

“Hello dear! It’s me. You haven’t called me back yet. I know your awfully busy, but please call me back soon!” Aziraphale checked the clock. It was 10. Crowley was supposed to be back three and a half hours ago. 

“Maybe she stopped for an erand and left her phone in the car?” Aziraphale desperately hoped that was what happened, but couldn’t convince herself. Instead, she decided to call the woman who had helped her before and could help her again. 

“Hello. Pulsifer-Device household. How may I help you?” A bleary Newton Pulsifer answed. While he was not the person Aziraphale intended to phone, he would do. Even if it was just to hand the phone off. 

“Ah! Newt! I was wondering if my wife is over?” There was a pause. 

“Um... No I don’t believe so. Would you like to speak to Anathema?” He asked. 

“That would be nice. Thank you dear!” There was a faint “Anathema!” On the other side and a pause before the witch answered. 

“Hey Aziraphale! What do ya need from me?” Anathema had always been straight to the point, and Aziraphale admired her for it. 

“Hello dear! Has Crowley been over recently?”

“No. Not since you came together. Why? Did she say she was?” Anathema grew worried. 

“No no. She just went to her apartment and hasn’t been back yet. I thought maybe you knew where she was. 

“I don’t. I’m sorry! When was she supposed to be back?” 

“6:30.” The angel told her sadly. There was a pause. 

“Oh. Not traffic then?”

“Not traffic.” Aziraphale was on the verge of tears and the witch could tell. 

“Stay right there. I’ll be over as soon as I can. Everything is going to be ok!” She reassured. “Keep calling Crowley until I get there. I’ll do the same alright?” 

“Yes. Jolly good.” 

“I’ll see you in a hop, skip, and a jump.” Anathema hung up. 

Aziraphale followed up on Anathema’s advice. She called Crowley every five minutes and half way through she stopped bothering to leave a message. Anathema couldn’t arrive soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taking a break from Crowley and seeing how Aziraphale is fairing. Kinda lost my inspiration to write GO stuff but I do wanna finish this before I fizzle out and only write TAZ. But I am doing a Good Omens Adventure Zone crossover, but I’m going to finish writing it before I post it so I have a more consistent posting schedule. 
> 
> All comments and kudos are loved and appreciated and so are you! I’m so cheesy! Have a good day!


	13. I’m too tired for this right now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anathema and Aziraphale get help from the police

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should change my name to help Crowley! Which is coming soon I promise! 
> 
> I am SO sorry for not posting for two months! I have been so busy and then I was out of town (super safely I promise! We just went to our cabin). I’ll post a couple times today including a brand new fic that will require you’re suggestions and prompts! I’ll give more information on the next chapter or so

Anathema arrived to see Aziraphale at the verge of tears. After much consideration, it was decided that Anathema would stay the night. Aziraphale preparated the couch for her, even though they both knew they wouldn’t get much sleep. 

Aziraphale paced most of the night since she couldn’t focus on a book. In the morning there was still no sign of Crowley, and it was decided that the two would report her missing to the police. 

Sergeant Green was sitting at his desk doing paperwork when there was a knock at his door. 

“Come in.” He called out, harsher than he ment. Correcting reports was incredibly boring and it shown through in his voice. A short blonde woman and her tall brunette counter part walked in. Both looked exhausted and the blonde looked extremely anxious. Worried that he was dealing with a complaint, Sergeant Green put on his best customer service smile. “How can I help you?” The blonde stammered for a few seconds before the other woman cut in. 

“We would like to file a missing persons report.” The blonde only nodded numbly. Clearly she’s close to the missing person. 

“Of course. Who’s the missing person?” He asked as he pulled out the paperwork and a pen. 

“M-my wife. Antonia Crowley.” The blonde stammered out. 

“No missing person is good, but an adult, chances are this Antonia went somewhere and ger phone died. Meanwhile her wife forgot about it and is freaking out. But, you never know. She absolutely could be missing.” 

“Age?” He inquired. 

“Uh...” Aziraphale thought back to the story they memorized for their appointment. “34.” 

“How long has Antonia been missing?” 

“A-around 13 and a half hours.” He scribbled the numbers down. 

“Anything else you’d like to tell me that might effect the case?” The blonde nodded profusely. 

“S-she’s pregnant. About 12 weeks.” Green eyes pinched shut and he took a deep breath. This was very bad. 

“Wonderful!” He said in a pained voice. “I’ll get the force right on it.” He wrote down the two women’s contact information and sent them away with the promise of calling them in the next three hours. As soon as they left he started rubbing his temples to soothe the head ache he had gotten. He was getting too old for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Have a great week! 
> 
> (This is the first one I haven’t proofread in a while so if there’s any mistakes let me know)


	14. Finally, some good news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale gets a call from the kidnappers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t relize how short this one and that last chapter are! Sorry!

Aziraphale was pacing holes in the floor, waiting for the kidnappers to call. They had been alerted that they would try to contact them soon, and Sergeant Glass told them to try to be at the station when it happened so they could trace the call. 

The rug was worn thin by the angel’s footsteps. Neither her nor Anathema had eaten or slept since Crowley’s disappearance two weeks ago and both were fading fast.(1)

Suddenly the phone rang. 

Aziraphale leapt towards it rattling off a fast “A.Z. Fell and Co, how may I help you?” Before waiting anxiously for a response. She had been told to pretend she was at the shop to the best of her abilities. There was a pained chuckle from the other side. 

“Hey angel. Good to hear you.” Aziraphale’s face melted. She was ok! 

“Crowley!” She cried softly. “Crowley, where are you? Are you ok?” 

“I-I don’t know. I don’t have a window.” There was a long pause before Crowley spoke again. “I’m not gonna lie angel. I’m not doing so hot. My arm’s killin me, I think it’s broken and I can’t use any miracles cause they keep injecting me with something.” She cursed. “He knows angel, he knows.” 

“What? What does who know dear?” 

“The man who’s holding me here. He knows everything.” She answered simply. Tears streaked down Aziraphale’s face in silent sobs. 

“Whatcan we do? How can we get you home?” She choked out. Suddenly she heard movement and Crowley cry out in pain. “Crowley?” 

“Hello.” A rough male voice took over the phone. “I’m Doctor Phillips. I believe I have someone important to you?” Aziraphale had to refrain from cursing at him in rage. 

“You do. What do I have to do to get her back?” She could hear his evil grin from behind the phone. 

“2 million dollars, American.” He gave her an address that she recognized as an old theater that she had gone to quite often before it was shut down, with the instructions to come alone. 

Once Phillips hung up she got a nod from Glass. There was no need to wait 5 days to get Crowley back when, with just a few blessings, she could be back in much less. 

(1) This is an exaggeration. They have eaten, but not slept much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated! Have a great week!
> 
> As an apology for not posting for months at a time, I’m writing a new fic which I will not post for months at a time! It’s an Addams family fan fiction called “Circe Addams, the newest addition to the family”, so check that out if you want to. Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you. (But please read it and leave me a prompt! I can’t make a new chapter until somebody gives me something to write about! I’m desperate here!)


	15. The hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley finally gets help! Yay!

Something was going on outside, but Crowley had no idea what. Which wasn’t surprising considering how hot and miserable she felt. She honestly wouldn’t be able to tell if anyone was in the room with her, much less if the Aziraphale who was holding her and whispering words she couldn’t quite understand was real, or only in her imagination. 

She must have been real because when she woke up, she was moving, but didn’t feel any less miserable. Too many people to count in her exhausted state were crowded around her. Aziraphale was there, talking to someone, she thinks about her, but all that mattered was that her angel was there. She was also vaguely aware they were holding hands. 

The final time she woke up was in a room with a bunch of machines making beeping noises. Aziraphale was in a chair beside her, reading, looking like she hadn’t slept for days. Crowley also noted they were still holding hands. She squeezed the angel’s hand gently, not feeling like talking right at the moment. 

“Crowley! How are you feeling dear?” The demon just smiled weakly as best she could. “Oh dear. Would you like some water?” With a snap a glass of water appeared which Crowley gladly drank up, slowly as she couldn’t remember the last time she was hydrated and because her motion was greatly reduced by the white cast the started just above her elbow and went all the way down to her knuckles and the sharp pain in her side when she moved too fast. “Better?” 

“Yeah.” The demon croaked, coughing a few times. “What happened?” Her voice was still hoarse from disuse. 

“Ah, well, when you called we were able to track your phone and find-“ 

“Track my phone? How? And who’s we?” Crowley interrupted. 

“Well, when you didn’t come home I panicked and called Anathema, who convinced me to go to the police-“ 

“The police? Angel! You got the help of human?” She whispered the last word, but with no less emotion. Aziraphale looked like she wanted to say more, but their argument was cut short by a nurse entering the room, fiddling with Crowley’s IV and the things attached to her, writing down pain levels, then leaving. 

“It doesn’t matter.” The angel said once they were alone again. “I’m just glad you’re awake and ok.” Guilt coursed through Crowley. Aziraphale had been waiting for her to wake up for who knows how long, just to get into an argument immediately after she spent too long worrying over where she was in the first place. 

“I’m sorry! Thank you for saving me angel!” Aziraphale smiled graciously. 

“You’re welcome.” The angel replied simply. It was nice to say thank you now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so bad at posting consistently 
> 
> Kudos, comments, and all that jazz are greatly appreciated! Have a great day!


	16. An Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wives struggle to find balance now that their world has been turned upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not dead! 
> 
> Just a heads up, this chapter has a bit of a time jump. Crowley’s arm is completely healed and about 20 weeks, Aziraphale is about 19 weeks

As soon as they got the go ahead from the doctors, the couple immediately went back to the bookshop. It was nice to be back in the towering labyrinth of books. 

It was not nice, however, to be back at Crowley’s apartment. The wives barely needed to discuss it, they just miracled all of the demon’s things to the bookshop and sold the place. 

They also bought the cottage they had discussed, but held off moving into it as Crowley couldn’t be alone. She proved this when she woke up one morning alone, terrified because Aziraphale was downstairs tending to a customer. 

She was pathetic. She was cast out from heaven, but couldn’t stand an annoying human for a few weeks? 

She tried so hard to dismiss these toxic thoughts as Aziraphale hated them, but she couldn’t fight the wave of panic every time Aziraphale left the room for more than a minute. 

————

Crowley was sitting on one of the many plush chairs in the bookshop when an thought suddenly hit her. She immediately ran to her wife who was currently trying to convince a very insistent customer that they didn’t in fact want a miss printed bible. 

“What is it dear?” The angel asked, turning so the customer could now see her bumb extending slightly from her soft stomach in comparison to Crowley’s more obvious bump. The customers eyes widened a little after relizing they yelled at a pregnant person. Crowley smirked as they made it out the door in record time. 

“I’ve been thinking,” the demon started. 

“Always a dangerous path.” The angel teased, receiving a glare in response. 

“Anyway,” Crowley continued pointedly. “I was wondering if there’s a reason that us and Beelzebub got pregnant at roughly the same time.” Her wife looked uncomfortable and a little annoyed. 

“I have no and have had no interest in our former bosses relationships. It’s probably just a coincidence.” 

“But I’ve know many demons that have specialties in lust, and I know for a fact they never used birth control or had any consequences resulting from it.” The angel thought for a moment, her brows creased deep in thought in a way Crowley couldn’t help but find adorable. 

“I suppose what you’re saying could be true. What do you wish me to do about it?” 

“Not much,” the snake replied causally. “I just want to talk to our dear neighbors and see if they know anything about it.” Aziraphale took a step back from the shock. 

“Y-you WANT to see them?” 

“Yeah, just poke around, see if they’re hiding any deep dark secrets that involved our health.” Crowley shrugged, leaving her wife aghast. The demon’s eyes were hopeful, but Aziraphale could tell she was trying to hide it based on her body language. 

“I suppose we could pop over sometime, see if they have any juicy goss.” The hopeful light in her eyes died as Crowley visibly cringed. 

“Angel, I don’t care what it costs, don’t ever do that again!” 

“You’d do anything?” Aziraphale suggested with a playful smirk. Knowing this could be very good or very annoying, the demon had no choice but to accept. 

“Anything.”


End file.
